I recently attended a talk that was, well… not great. It was rubbish, to be honest. It could have been so much better.
In my mind, I was like, “Well, he didn’t ask for it. It’s not really my place.” But I felt like such a fraud because I knew the person could have done so much better.
So I decided to reach out and invite him to see if he’d like to hear my feedback. He agreed.
I thought about how to give him the feedback in a way that would be helpful and constructive.
Then I remembered something I used to do with my youngest daughter. We would play a game called “Scare.” She would say, “Give me a scare between one and ten.”
For one, I would say, “Boo!” For two, I would say, “BOO!” And so on. I never got past four or five, because I think I would have scared myself if I had.
But it’s interesting with feedback, you know? People see us so clearly, and we see them so clearly. But we don’t always give feedback. So maybe that’s something you want to try. You know? “Can I give you some feedback?” “Yes, great. Would you like it between one and ten?”
One is a massage to your ego. No change. Same.
Ten is a transformation in your being and your experience.
Edmund Burke, the politician, said, “A good scare is worth more to man than good advice.”
Why is it so hard to give feedback?
The truth is, feedback is a gift. It’s a chance to help someone grow and improve.
If you’re thinking about giving someone feedback, here are a few tips:
- Be specific. Point out the specific things that the person did well and the things that they could improve on.
- Be constructive. Focus on what the person can do to improve, rather than just criticizing them.
Be respectful. Remember that you’re giving feedback to help the person, not to hurt them.
Mojestically yours!
Si.
P.S. Find out your Mojo score by completing the anonymous 2-minute Mojo-Meter here:
